Author: Vijaya Yalamanchili

With my change in Job, I now have some time to write more frequently on my memories blog… too many topics on my mind. Kids, Family, Work, my lazy life style, workout’s, getting back to swim, pains of owning a home… I will stop here. I guess I have a topic now – “Pains of owning a home”

When I started job back in 2004, it added extra income to family.. My crazy brain started thinking about options to invest that extra income. Like any other desi, Investing in a home seemed to be the best option as the housing market is in rocket raise. With no knowledge in financial sector and not viewing big picture with over enthusiasm, we started looking for a home. first home we saw, we signed up a new construction, thinking you can select all the options and customize to your own needs, not knowing the pains of selection and cost associated with it.

Everything went fine, construction started and we both lost jobs at same time, knowing that, it added lot of pressure and we said we will back-out from buying home, Done, we are out of buying this home. After 2 months we both are back in jobs and we went back to buying the same home, feeling very emotionally attached to that home 🙂 Again, the same childhood un matured status of brains. We paid $15k extra to the initial amount we signed earlier and finally became home owners for our Dream home. Then the crocodile festival started 🙂

I was pregnant with Ani when we moved into our new home, it’s very big home for just 2 of us. Maintenance increased, time spent on cleaning inside, yard work, filling it up with furniture.. Baby stuff.. Don’t know when all our time flew by. So many memories attached to this home, both Ani & Rishi were born here and the precious fist years of them are all around here.

Ani started his Kindergarten and then we slowly realized that the school district matters in raising kids. Again a blunder we made, on buying a new home with no knowledge. Many people advised about school district, but we are not ready to accept at that time 🙂

We planned to buy a different home in good school district and thinking we can sell this, but the housing market came on its knees, since we bought it, no way we will get what we paid for, so we decided to rent this house.

After so much of research and shopping around, settled for a home in chesterfield. This time we took consideration of location, schools etc… it’s a good buy. We got the basement finished to our taste. Still the joy of maintenance exists with a bonus of big trees in the yard 🙂

When fall starts, leaves fill in, when spring starts Pollen fill in – plus the fun of mowing about half acre yard in summer. SV loves his yard time, I am an outdoor person too, but not a motivated yard worker 🙁

I think all the time spent on these is waste. I would rather pay someone to do these jobs and spend my time on my own interests. I already have a maid to help with inside. But it’s hard to have my sweet husband convince to this idea when it comes to yard work.

I already planned to move out of this maintenance business, when kids go to college :-). I will sure move to a maintenance free home, definitely with no yard work. I definitely agree that kids have a blast in big homes and big yards. Once they move out, no point of still keeping them.

6-8 more years to get that point, until then I will try to convince my sweet heart to outsource yard work 🙂

All these sweet struggles gives me the joy of raising my wonderful family, so no complaints here!

•You are a very nice and thoughtful person and I have really enjoyed working closely with you.  We are going to miss you.  You had a very tough position to fill and you made it look easy.  I admire that.  Thanks for always helping me with smile on your face, and an eagerness to help. – Dave Swaw •Viji, I wish you the very best of luck in your future endeavors and I VERY much appreciate all you have done for us.  Your new team is very lucky to have you.  We will keep a seat warm for you if you change your mind 😉 – Jason Gegg •Thank you for being a wonderful team member. The last 2 years I have been here I have seen the dedication, professionalism and hard work you put in and I can’t thank you  enough. I wish you the very best for the future and the companies you go through in your career path, I am sure will appreciate your work and benefit from everything you bring to the table – Salil Rao

These are some of the messages that I received on my last day at RGA. My colleagues tell me that I am the GO TO person on BI side, those are all proud moments every day. I was very emotional hearing all these. SIX years at RGA, where I learned to push myself to next level. Never knew that I can do much more, day after day. Push yourself to your limits and that’s how you truly grow, is my biggest lesson. I worked at other companies for long time, but never felt this kind of attachment while quitting before. I had so many stressful days and everyday is like a marathon, you come in thinking of working on one thing and you find it a complete contrast. Never a dull moment. I think others will see the good in you when you work under stress and hard situations. RGA is a place which gave me good opportunities to grow both in technology and in personal. The peers that I worked with push their limits to extremes.  This team motivated me to run, overcoming my fears. Team of 15 men and one and only single women. Sri said, that team will loose Kala when I leave, leaving all men alone. I am going to miss it. But hey, I got my life back 🙂

Started at Centene, with a team I don’t know before, but heard from my new manager that multiple people highly recommended me for this position 🙂 New start, new perspective, new stack of tools. Hope I keep up expectations already built with in here. I will try to keep up the bar high and enjoy the work life balance.

 

One fine day my friend Malli pinged me on whats app to ask that our High school friends are planning for a reunion in US and if I am interested to join. I decided right at that moment, I am going. After that, I gave a good thought. I have Ghajani memory and barely remembered anything from school days, plus its been decades since I met all these ladies. Will I be in sync, what will they be up to, will this be fun??? So many thoughts. But I said I am going.

Finally Date decided November 9th and venue is in Las Vegas, I jumped and said perfect as one of my dream half marathon run is in Las Vegas and on that same weekend… yippie. From that day on-wards everything came in line with the planning. Not much planning needed other than Booking flight, stay and shows. Enthusiasm started the day before trip when everyone said they are packing and getting ready. Finally that day arrived, My flight is not until 6pm.. rest of all the girls started and some reached..posting their pictures made me think, I made a big mistake to come to work and wait until end of day to reach my destination. Even though I am working my heart went to Vegas early. I didn’t realized how fast the journey went. I reached there …. …

I should tell other side of story as well- at home, My kids are not happy that I am going. My husband is full of support, you should go and meet friends. I have hands full with kids activities. Luckily Ani went on out of town swim meet. Rishi is home alone with his Dad, but he got basketball games scheduled both days. Amma & Dad are here in US with us that helped a lot, My family is being very supportive of anything I like to do…but still I have that guilt, that I did not prepare well at home for me to be away for 2 days… left to trip with that guilt…

Landed in LAS, went to airbnb rental, as soon as the door opened… kicha kicha, from that point non stop talking from my school buddies. I can relate their faces now. Amazed to see their energy levels. Sowji packed all the stuff and brought as checked in stuff, including groceries, decorations what not… I was left awful. 

In short these girls are all amazing. I can write a blog on each of them. I used to think I am crazy among my set of friends, but meeting my childhood buddies, now I know where it all came from, my SCHOOL. It taught us a lot, when to be caring, when to be a leader, when to stand for your self, decision making skills, being tough and strong. In precise my impression of my buddies who I met after 22 years is as follows: Sowji- Leader, Prasanthi- allaripilla, Jyothi- sweet heart, VBD – composed, Swarna Deepthi- diva, Swarna Latha – chatterbox, Deepthi prakash- calm & cute , Killi – still a child.. i enjoyed to core. All these are like Shadruchulu… mixed very well that made a sweet memory for life. 

Learning about each individual, how strong they are now, how well they shaped their career, how they grew from little young girls to ladies with their beautiful character, …cant express my happiness. We shared so much from past and present.

One common thing I noticed is everyone is so grounded and just went with the flow. No complaints, no inhibitions, of-course nothing to complain about, Souji planned it so well…. anything that comes out of your mouth is ready there, right in-front of you. I can go on and on and on– talking about this trip.

So much of chatting for 2 days and now its time to be parted away. Good byes and well wishes, we all left the place slowly with heavy hearts but with full of memories. Now, its time for me to run the Half-marathon in Las Vegas STRIP at NIGHT under the LIGHTS. I am excited and pumped up… Am I ready, yes mentally, but physically I am not. Lets see how it goes. I always think if you are mentally strong, you can do anything.. I am over enthusiastic, I literally killed my body on this run. But… but… its my most enjoyed run. 40,000 people ran the race, Energy everywhere, cheering from crowds to band every mile. There is a saying that any idiot can run, but it takes a special idiot to run half marathon, I am very proud to say that I am that special IDIOT.

 

I should mention the support from my family and friends, incredible. I am so lucky and fortunate to be in the place where I am today. Signing off for now…

We had the blessing of having Sri Sitarama Parivaram at our home for Sita Rama kalyanam on July 22nd Abhijit Muhurtam.
We got the gift of tasting one of the most beautiful Divine Experiences. So blessed to carry Amma and do kanyadanam.
The positive vibrations through out our home and in the devotees during kalyanam is unbelievable.
During all this experience I was not aware of my surroundings and time flew by so fast.
We cannot say thank you enough for Guruvu garu and Volunteers for helping in each and every step to make it go very smooth.

We are blessed to be part of this Yatra.

It’s one of the shortest trip to India, just 1 week in india. Phew, it was hectic thinking about my schedule. But, I made it gracefully with lots of memories.The smell, sound and everything is so vibrating in India. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Did some shopping with Amma.  If there is no hiccup with Siri on the way in to India, it would have been a blast. We are very lucky and fortunate that she is saved on that day.

 

Spent good time with Ammamma, Amma & Daddy. They raised me with so much patience, I am one kid with lots of mood swings and stubborn, I owe them a lot. I miss them a lot. I wish I can stay with them forever.

Had a great Darshanam of Annavaram Satyanarayana Swami. Get to see konaseema on the way. Ate too many mangoes, cherukurasam, Munjulu, sweets all my favorite food, which I miss a lot in USA. 

Overall it was a good trip, met so many relatives friends. I fully utilized the time I spent in 1 week. Luckily no Jet-lag both ways. Hopefully I can plan more of these short trips and be in connection with family back home.

Added one more year of experience and excitement to my life. Kids are growing up and receiving wishes from them on my own day is special. Wake up call from Amma, Dad, Sis& Ammamma to wish me made it even more special. Attayya made payasam and had a relaxed morning. Friends and Family wishes from Facebook and Whatsapp makes it even more special.

When I was a kid in school, I complained a lot that my birthday is during holidays and never get to spend at school with friends. After all that Drama, I am a matured women working full time, I can take a day off whenever I needed. But my perspective changed completely, I am at work today. Don’t feel much of difference between normal days and my birthday.

Happy to be what I am today, loving family & friends, good financial status, peace of mind. I pray god to give all of us good health and proper thinking. That will give everything else. I wish my saga continues in the same pace 🙂

—-Lovingly, Vijaya!

I am so excited to go back to my home for 22 years, lots of memories, going to spend time with Amma, Daddy, Ammamma, all family..shopping, food, mangoes, hot summer, very excited 🙂

When Siri mentioned that she is planning to go to India for Amma and Dad 40th anniversary, I felt I should go to spend sometime with them on their special day. So much changed after I booked my ticket for 10 days, SV’s surgery kept my trip in dilemma, having Attayya here to help with day to day is very helpful. They all assured me that I can go for a week. But, with so much going on with Kids after school activities, and me being primary transporter at this time, I am still not sure how all this can be managed by SV. Kids are not so happy that I am going, more than the feeling of missing, I guess they want to go to India. Love to see them jealous of me going, that ensures me that they have good bond back to the roots.

My one week schedule already filled up, not sure how I will spend quality time with Jetlag, heat etc…but very excited and looking forward to it. Since I came to US(in 2003), I never went alone to India. Always traveled with kids. Will see how this one goes, always a different experience, especially travelling with my Crazy Sister and Nephew.

SV and Attayya went to Nashville to say hi to Lord Ganesha Sunday morning, I woke up late and did Laundry Breakfast and then made Ani & Rishi wake up. Morning routine done and asked them to finish home work’s as they played both full day’s Friday and Saturday without even touching books.

Ani took his chrome book and started writing essay for Language arts, Rishi is working on front computer to improve his typing skills. I went back to clean kitchen and into my work. When I glanced at what kids are doing Ani went back to playing a video game on his chromebook, when he realized I was watching him, he flipped that screen and started doing essay again, I asked him why he was doing that. He mentioned that he felt guilty and switched back screens, I gave him a lesson about cheating me and himself. I told him that I don’t like it, he needs to focus on what he is doing and not to get diverted to what I call as “Addiction”. He said he will never do that again and said “I promise”.

After that big lecture, I stepped away from him and let them do what ever they want. They both seemed to finish their work and Ani switched back to playing video games again. When I was walking that way he switched the screens again, I cannot control my anger at that time. That is it, I scolded him. I shouted like crazy, I cant take that sense of cheating even after taking to him about it. I gave him a serious lecture and told him, since he is not doing what he is supposed to do, I am serious about sending him to Boarding school. He cried a lot. I never scolded Ani until this point, I felt really bad. My heart still weeps ..but what is the better way to tell him? how will he understand his priorities? I am always about getting good grades, but never forced them to be on top …as long as they understand the concept, they need to be able to apply what they are learning in theory to their practical life, marks doesn’t matter to me. Having that addiction to video games, is making their minds numb and not work. I need to spend more time with them in engaging in outdoor activities, I hate to see them addicted to these things, but telling that in harsh way in anger is not the right approach. I need to work on my anger management, what do I do? I am usually not that anger person, I let them play when I needed sometime to do other stuff, I need to engage them more, I need to out source some of non important work.

I love you Ani, I am not angry on you, I am trying to explain you to get you out of that “Addiction”, I am sorry if that hurted you. I love you, you are a pure soul..what more can I say. I want you and Rishi to be responsible young man, I am sure you will succeed in your career, no doubt about it, I am trying to build that sense of responsibility and sensibility to what is happening around you. Again, I am sorry Ani babu and I love you.

I am always that kind of person that likes to try everything, even though I don’t have much insights of it, I love to learn. Amma & Dad always laugh at me with all the stunts I did when I was a kid. Started learning Dance, Veena, Shorthand, into NCC, played Basketball for school, Participated in shuttle tournaments…not just one. I appreciate my parents encouraging me for all I wanted to do, which is not typical in south Indian Hindu community. That went into my life style and I can’t keep myself leisure. Also, my approach on any art is- lots of people already did this, you are not first person. When so many did it already why cant you do it.  Some of my friends call me a TOUGH NUT 🙂 I take that as a compliment. After a while you get along with the routine life style with day – day activities, that definitely keeps you busy, does that mean you are enjoying what you are doing?

I have so many plans that goes in my brain, wanted to see myself travelling places, interacting with friends out side of my comfort zone. Wanted to learn new things, interested to do a triathlon.. so many things I like to do. Where do I have time, full time job is not just 9 hours…its completely exhausting and taking most of my brain power. Tired at the end of day. Managing kids calendars is getting harder as well. I need to either compromise on my sleep or something else which I don’t know where I have time. I seriously want to do masters degree and some certification courses. I need that push from my inner self to do that. One day I will start and set myself into reading mode…why not that one day is today.

I just got one life and wanted to experience as much as I can, don’t want to tie myself with experiences that I already had. I needed to be committed for my challenges and that will keep me pushing harder and further to achieve what I like to end up with. DONT STOP, PUSH HARDER & KEEP GOING!

 

I was thinking last week one day, me and SV manages stuff perfect at home…it may sound silly, but I load dishwasher in the morning and he empties it in evening after coming home. He put rice before taking off for kids activities and I make curries. I do load laundry and he helps with folding them. There is a part and share of every individual job we do at home, except that I don’t get involved in kids studies and finances. SV takes responsibilities of all that alone, taking lot of stress off of my plate. And still I complain too much too handle 🙂

I now realized the value of having a strong support. SV had an eye surgery last week(stupid eye issues he is having) without realizing how big it is. He is in pain and cannot even open his eyes for few days. I don’t know how to even express my feelings those days, I am completely swamped with taking care of him, kids activities, cooking, feeding them, plus medical needs for SV. I had lots of tears hidden, cant manage time. Getting behind on simple things, stress levels are going up.. I need a shoulder to cry at that moment. But then realized it is all temporary, it wont last long. The situation came to measure your strength of dealing things and when you realize you are stronger than what you think and braver than what you believe, all the simple things will come in place. Plus the support I have from family and friends gives me the power, knowing I am not alone.

I wish these days pass by soon and the suffering SV & we as family going through be gone. I need my sweat heart to be back and full in action, I cannot handle the mental stress to check mail, pay bills, work related stuff, plus kids, plus communicating to parents, plus blah blah blah… I love to be dependent on this guy. I don’t have maturity to deal all of these on my own…….