Author: Vijaya Yalamanchili

After a long break from blogging, here is an update from me.

I like to talk about stress in my life and importance of small things and big things in life.

When I was a kid, I had so much fun growing up with parents, grand parents and family around. Later when I started school in eluru, I came from a very low school and that added lot of stress. Kids are way polished, they have good grades and I struggled a lot to make good friends and to keep up with studies, but in few years.. I got up to a point where I became a leader to a group for whole school. Looking back, I still remember the stress I had when I started new school, So many good memories that I had after, but that stress surpassed all those good old memories.

I had super fun in my engineering days and so I don’t remember much of that. Bad is what keeps you following and good is what keeps you moving forward.

So many small conversations that goes inside my brain, for ex…

Me: I usually have a busy day from when I wake up till I go to bed every day. I always wanted to wake up early, so I can get some of my personal work done early in the morning

My Innerserself: my body alarm doesn’t cooperate with it- excuse 🙂

Me:I like to communicate more with friends and family

My Innerserself:I am not a phone person, wait but I spend lot of time on WhatsApp – another excuse.

Me: These Millets are buzzing everywhere, such a nonsense

My Innerserself:There may be some good about it, why will lot of people adapt to eating such tasteless food? I am still not eating 🙂

Afterall, I am a normal person, not a mahatma that I can say, I controlled all my emotions, I don’t have any desires etc..

The best thing that I learned is letting it go,

its ok to be late to an appointment,

its ok to miss a party,

its ok to skip work for a day,

its ok to extend your vacation for one more day even if it’s in last min,

its ok for kids to not finish their home works

But, it’s not ok to make it a habit of letting it go until things get out of control.

Me: This is so confusing, how do you balance ?

So many small things every day,  stress is what I cannot manage. How can I overcome it? Be more organized, better planning, being fair and keeping things straight, not postponing work, doing what I like and not caring what others are thinking. All these are easy to say, but how practical is it? Even after doing this if things are not coming into place, then I am believing there is something that is strongly forcing it to happen that way(Vedantham).

One thing I am learning these days is looking at adults and talking to them and analyzing their life style and patterns.

At least for me I classified important aspects of life into sections:

• Kids
• Work
• Family and Friends
• Financial

Let me tackle one after one:

Kids:

We stress a lot at this age about kids classes and their learning, but let’s compare how many kids that excelled in school, failed later in life and vice versa. It’s all in their destiny. Parenting is tricky. I don’t care about my kids getting good grades or not, but I care if they are being responsible, constant learners, enjoy life and willing to help others. That will pay them in long term.

Later once they go to colleges, we start worrying about their future, job.. Etc. Its ok, it’s all in their destiny where they land. Just give them a supporting hand and they will just do fine.

Work:

Being asian, already inherited hard working and quick learner in DNA 🙂 Who don’t like that? If your work is not being admired and praised, “it’s time for you to move”. You spend about 1/3 rds of your life at work. It needs to be a encouraging and challenging environment, which is open to ideas. Don’t combine WORK and HOME. Switching off work side after stepping into Mom’s hat is the key.

Financials:

I follow my financial guru – Robert kiyosaki. Just follow him, you don’t need to learn much here 🙂 Jokes a part, I think how much ever we have, it’s not sufficient. Someone said that if you have a roof to cover you and food on your plate you are rich than many people. But I think if you have strength and willingness to work and a brain in good condition, you can easily earn. My goal is to be independent and not to be dependent in later years of life. That is more important for me than how luxurious my life is now.

Family and Friends:

Quality is more important for me than quantity. I can say that my family and friends close to me are always there for me, what else do I need. You cannot please everyone all the time, its ok to ignore some things in life and move on..

When you think about all these big things– already have a plan built and nothing will stop happening if you stress out more… that’s why there is no point of overthinking on these small issues.

So much to write…but I will end with … nothing will stop even if you are not there, enjoy what you have while you are here. You can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING.

When this little boy is introduced to our life’s we have no idea what we are looking forward for- That’s my baby Rishi. He is 10 year old now, he is super naughty, sweet heart, he loves to be around me, very passionate about basketball- day or night if he is on a schedule he works towards it, Knows his responsibilities, very friendly- sometimes it hard for me to keep track of his friends list and his sleep over schedules :-), stylish – not sure where he got this from (both me and his dad doesn’t have those styling skills), He is the one that reminds me every day to close all doors, shut down lights before sleeping. He is guide to his brother(Ani) in most cases. Very motivated, Dramatic, chatterbox, workout freak, short tempered, have money and financial sense…and the list goes on.

It’s very rare to see so many distinguished qualities in a 10 year old kid, of course this generation is superfast, but this guy is superfast for his generation.

Rishi’s goal is to become an NBA Player, or atleast coach NBA Players 🙂

It’s not easy to raise a kid that is multitalented, he tries to put his hands on everything and try’s to imitate whatever comes in his way- that scares me. Sometimes he argues with me like a adult, with a strong voice and with a conclusion of I am doing it this way. I wish he takes a minute and thinks before he talks or comes to conclusions.

I made Upma for breakfast otherday, he doesn’t like it in general. But still I made it 🙂 My theory is to make them familiar with Indian tastes. He said that Upma is close to him now a days, I was surprised to listen that and then he explained that Upma has “amma” in it and that’s his reason, he throws all these butter biscuits at me … love this Kiddo!

He is his Dad’s boy, he has talent to convince his dad for his needs. I am strict with him(Indian parenting – if one parent is not strict kids will be spoiled mentality)

I like to save a memory from last week here- Rishi loves his hair and he spends almost 30 minutes every day before going to school styling it with gels. Almost from over an year he doesn’t let me come for his haircuts, he knows I won’t let him do his undercuts etc…. He always take his Dad and get whatever kinda of hair he needs. This time I made clear, I am coming and getting a neat haircut. He thought he can convince me. I told the stylist to do a neat hair cut. All his long grown hair is gone, looking in mirror he was so upset and cried for almost an hour, that he doesn’t look good. He gave me so much crap, he is not going to school with this cut etc.. Etc..

But look today, don’t have his hands on his hair while playing, no more time waste before going to school on styling, can take head bath whenever needed 🙂 There is a reason for me being strict.. Right Rishamma 🙂

I am sure this guy will end up very successful, if he works on his focus and controls that short temper, not sure at this point where I can help on, that works for him.

Rishi, I am sure you will make me proud sometime soon being a responsible and successful young man, Love you TONS! I wish you all success in whatever path you step into!

Your perspective always changes with time. It’s fun to sit back and watch things that changes in time.

Ani was 6 year old when I started working at RGA. I worked in a very flexible work space until then and RGA is very high demanding and stressed work environment with no flexibility. After few days of start Ani said “Amma I don’t like your new job, I like your old job” you are not spending much time with me is his complaint then. Now after 6 years, started at Centene. I have little more time now, seems to get my life back. With about 2 weeks after new start, Ani who is 12 now and into his pre- teen said same dialogue, “Amma I don’t like your new job, I like your old job” same dialogue, but this time it’s because I have more time I am concentrating more on kids 🙂 Same dialogue but completely contrast in sense.

It makes sense from his perspective, I left him for a while on his own and now poking with his day to day activities every day, doesn’t seem to go well with him. May be I should step back and help him seamlessly if he needs.

Time is all it takes 🙂

With my change in Job, I now have some time to write more frequently on my memories blog… too many topics on my mind. Kids, Family, Work, my lazy life style, workout’s, getting back to swim, pains of owning a home… I will stop here. I guess I have a topic now – “Pains of owning a home”

When I started job back in 2004, it added extra income to family.. My crazy brain started thinking about options to invest that extra income. Like any other desi, Investing in a home seemed to be the best option as the housing market is in rocket raise. With no knowledge in financial sector and not viewing big picture with over enthusiasm, we started looking for a home. first home we saw, we signed up a new construction, thinking you can select all the options and customize to your own needs, not knowing the pains of selection and cost associated with it.

Everything went fine, construction started and we both lost jobs at same time, knowing that, it added lot of pressure and we said we will back-out from buying home, Done, we are out of buying this home. After 2 months we both are back in jobs and we went back to buying the same home, feeling very emotionally attached to that home 🙂 Again, the same childhood un matured status of brains. We paid $15k extra to the initial amount we signed earlier and finally became home owners for our Dream home. Then the crocodile festival started 🙂

I was pregnant with Ani when we moved into our new home, it’s very big home for just 2 of us. Maintenance increased, time spent on cleaning inside, yard work, filling it up with furniture.. Baby stuff.. Don’t know when all our time flew by. So many memories attached to this home, both Ani & Rishi were born here and the precious fist years of them are all around here.

Ani started his Kindergarten and then we slowly realized that the school district matters in raising kids. Again a blunder we made, on buying a new home with no knowledge. Many people advised about school district, but we are not ready to accept at that time 🙂

We planned to buy a different home in good school district and thinking we can sell this, but the housing market came on its knees, since we bought it, no way we will get what we paid for, so we decided to rent this house.

After so much of research and shopping around, settled for a home in chesterfield. This time we took consideration of location, schools etc… it’s a good buy. We got the basement finished to our taste. Still the joy of maintenance exists with a bonus of big trees in the yard 🙂

When fall starts, leaves fill in, when spring starts Pollen fill in – plus the fun of mowing about half acre yard in summer. SV loves his yard time, I am an outdoor person too, but not a motivated yard worker 🙁

I think all the time spent on these is waste. I would rather pay someone to do these jobs and spend my time on my own interests. I already have a maid to help with inside. But it’s hard to have my sweet husband convince to this idea when it comes to yard work.

I already planned to move out of this maintenance business, when kids go to college :-). I will sure move to a maintenance free home, definitely with no yard work. I definitely agree that kids have a blast in big homes and big yards. Once they move out, no point of still keeping them.

6-8 more years to get that point, until then I will try to convince my sweet heart to outsource yard work 🙂

All these sweet struggles gives me the joy of raising my wonderful family, so no complaints here!

•You are a very nice and thoughtful person and I have really enjoyed working closely with you.  We are going to miss you.  You had a very tough position to fill and you made it look easy.  I admire that.  Thanks for always helping me with smile on your face, and an eagerness to help. – Dave Swaw •Viji, I wish you the very best of luck in your future endeavors and I VERY much appreciate all you have done for us.  Your new team is very lucky to have you.  We will keep a seat warm for you if you change your mind 😉 – Jason Gegg •Thank you for being a wonderful team member. The last 2 years I have been here I have seen the dedication, professionalism and hard work you put in and I can’t thank you  enough. I wish you the very best for the future and the companies you go through in your career path, I am sure will appreciate your work and benefit from everything you bring to the table – Salil Rao

These are some of the messages that I received on my last day at RGA. My colleagues tell me that I am the GO TO person on BI side, those are all proud moments every day. I was very emotional hearing all these. SIX years at RGA, where I learned to push myself to next level. Never knew that I can do much more, day after day. Push yourself to your limits and that’s how you truly grow, is my biggest lesson. I worked at other companies for long time, but never felt this kind of attachment while quitting before. I had so many stressful days and everyday is like a marathon, you come in thinking of working on one thing and you find it a complete contrast. Never a dull moment. I think others will see the good in you when you work under stress and hard situations. RGA is a place which gave me good opportunities to grow both in technology and in personal. The peers that I worked with push their limits to extremes.  This team motivated me to run, overcoming my fears. Team of 15 men and one and only single women. Sri said, that team will loose Kala when I leave, leaving all men alone. I am going to miss it. But hey, I got my life back 🙂

Started at Centene, with a team I don’t know before, but heard from my new manager that multiple people highly recommended me for this position 🙂 New start, new perspective, new stack of tools. Hope I keep up expectations already built with in here. I will try to keep up the bar high and enjoy the work life balance.

 

One fine day my friend Malli pinged me on whats app to ask that our High school friends are planning for a reunion in US and if I am interested to join. I decided right at that moment, I am going. After that, I gave a good thought. I have Ghajani memory and barely remembered anything from school days, plus its been decades since I met all these ladies. Will I be in sync, what will they be up to, will this be fun??? So many thoughts. But I said I am going.

Finally Date decided November 9th and venue is in Las Vegas, I jumped and said perfect as one of my dream half marathon run is in Las Vegas and on that same weekend… yippie. From that day on-wards everything came in line with the planning. Not much planning needed other than Booking flight, stay and shows. Enthusiasm started the day before trip when everyone said they are packing and getting ready. Finally that day arrived, My flight is not until 6pm.. rest of all the girls started and some reached..posting their pictures made me think, I made a big mistake to come to work and wait until end of day to reach my destination. Even though I am working my heart went to Vegas early. I didn’t realized how fast the journey went. I reached there …. …

I should tell other side of story as well- at home, My kids are not happy that I am going. My husband is full of support, you should go and meet friends. I have hands full with kids activities. Luckily Ani went on out of town swim meet. Rishi is home alone with his Dad, but he got basketball games scheduled both days. Amma & Dad are here in US with us that helped a lot, My family is being very supportive of anything I like to do…but still I have that guilt, that I did not prepare well at home for me to be away for 2 days… left to trip with that guilt…

Landed in LAS, went to airbnb rental, as soon as the door opened… kicha kicha, from that point non stop talking from my school buddies. I can relate their faces now. Amazed to see their energy levels. Sowji packed all the stuff and brought as checked in stuff, including groceries, decorations what not… I was left awful. 

In short these girls are all amazing. I can write a blog on each of them. I used to think I am crazy among my set of friends, but meeting my childhood buddies, now I know where it all came from, my SCHOOL. It taught us a lot, when to be caring, when to be a leader, when to stand for your self, decision making skills, being tough and strong. In precise my impression of my buddies who I met after 22 years is as follows: Sowji- Leader, Prasanthi- allaripilla, Jyothi- sweet heart, VBD – composed, Swarna Deepthi- diva, Swarna Latha – chatterbox, Deepthi prakash- calm & cute , Killi – still a child.. i enjoyed to core. All these are like Shadruchulu… mixed very well that made a sweet memory for life. 

Learning about each individual, how strong they are now, how well they shaped their career, how they grew from little young girls to ladies with their beautiful character, …cant express my happiness. We shared so much from past and present.

One common thing I noticed is everyone is so grounded and just went with the flow. No complaints, no inhibitions, of-course nothing to complain about, Souji planned it so well…. anything that comes out of your mouth is ready there, right in-front of you. I can go on and on and on– talking about this trip.

So much of chatting for 2 days and now its time to be parted away. Good byes and well wishes, we all left the place slowly with heavy hearts but with full of memories. Now, its time for me to run the Half-marathon in Las Vegas STRIP at NIGHT under the LIGHTS. I am excited and pumped up… Am I ready, yes mentally, but physically I am not. Lets see how it goes. I always think if you are mentally strong, you can do anything.. I am over enthusiastic, I literally killed my body on this run. But… but… its my most enjoyed run. 40,000 people ran the race, Energy everywhere, cheering from crowds to band every mile. There is a saying that any idiot can run, but it takes a special idiot to run half marathon, I am very proud to say that I am that special IDIOT.

 

I should mention the support from my family and friends, incredible. I am so lucky and fortunate to be in the place where I am today. Signing off for now…

We had the blessing of having Sri Sitarama Parivaram at our home for Sita Rama kalyanam on July 22nd Abhijit Muhurtam.
We got the gift of tasting one of the most beautiful Divine Experiences. So blessed to carry Amma and do kanyadanam.
The positive vibrations through out our home and in the devotees during kalyanam is unbelievable.
During all this experience I was not aware of my surroundings and time flew by so fast.
We cannot say thank you enough for Guruvu garu and Volunteers for helping in each and every step to make it go very smooth.

We are blessed to be part of this Yatra.

It’s one of the shortest trip to India, just 1 week in india. Phew, it was hectic thinking about my schedule. But, I made it gracefully with lots of memories.The smell, sound and everything is so vibrating in India. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Did some shopping with Amma.  If there is no hiccup with Siri on the way in to India, it would have been a blast. We are very lucky and fortunate that she is saved on that day.

 

Spent good time with Ammamma, Amma & Daddy. They raised me with so much patience, I am one kid with lots of mood swings and stubborn, I owe them a lot. I miss them a lot. I wish I can stay with them forever.

Had a great Darshanam of Annavaram Satyanarayana Swami. Get to see konaseema on the way. Ate too many mangoes, cherukurasam, Munjulu, sweets all my favorite food, which I miss a lot in USA. 

Overall it was a good trip, met so many relatives friends. I fully utilized the time I spent in 1 week. Luckily no Jet-lag both ways. Hopefully I can plan more of these short trips and be in connection with family back home.

Added one more year of experience and excitement to my life. Kids are growing up and receiving wishes from them on my own day is special. Wake up call from Amma, Dad, Sis& Ammamma to wish me made it even more special. Attayya made payasam and had a relaxed morning. Friends and Family wishes from Facebook and Whatsapp makes it even more special.

When I was a kid in school, I complained a lot that my birthday is during holidays and never get to spend at school with friends. After all that Drama, I am a matured women working full time, I can take a day off whenever I needed. But my perspective changed completely, I am at work today. Don’t feel much of difference between normal days and my birthday.

Happy to be what I am today, loving family & friends, good financial status, peace of mind. I pray god to give all of us good health and proper thinking. That will give everything else. I wish my saga continues in the same pace 🙂

—-Lovingly, Vijaya!

I am so excited to go back to my home for 22 years, lots of memories, going to spend time with Amma, Daddy, Ammamma, all family..shopping, food, mangoes, hot summer, very excited 🙂

When Siri mentioned that she is planning to go to India for Amma and Dad 40th anniversary, I felt I should go to spend sometime with them on their special day. So much changed after I booked my ticket for 10 days, SV’s surgery kept my trip in dilemma, having Attayya here to help with day to day is very helpful. They all assured me that I can go for a week. But, with so much going on with Kids after school activities, and me being primary transporter at this time, I am still not sure how all this can be managed by SV. Kids are not so happy that I am going, more than the feeling of missing, I guess they want to go to India. Love to see them jealous of me going, that ensures me that they have good bond back to the roots.

My one week schedule already filled up, not sure how I will spend quality time with Jetlag, heat etc…but very excited and looking forward to it. Since I came to US(in 2003), I never went alone to India. Always traveled with kids. Will see how this one goes, always a different experience, especially travelling with my Crazy Sister and Nephew.