SV and Attayya went to Nashville to say hi to Lord Ganesha Sunday morning, I woke up late and did Laundry Breakfast and then made Ani & Rishi wake up. Morning routine done and asked them to finish home work’s as they played both full day’s Friday and Saturday without even touching books.
Ani took his chrome book and started writing essay for Language arts, Rishi is working on front computer to improve his typing skills. I went back to clean kitchen and into my work. When I glanced at what kids are doing Ani went back to playing a video game on his chromebook, when he realized I was watching him, he flipped that screen and started doing essay again, I asked him why he was doing that. He mentioned that he felt guilty and switched back screens, I gave him a lesson about cheating me and himself. I told him that I don’t like it, he needs to focus on what he is doing and not to get diverted to what I call as “Addiction”. He said he will never do that again and said “I promise”.
After that big lecture, I stepped away from him and let them do what ever they want. They both seemed to finish their work and Ani switched back to playing video games again. When I was walking that way he switched the screens again, I cannot control my anger at that time. That is it, I scolded him. I shouted like crazy, I cant take that sense of cheating even after taking to him about it. I gave him a serious lecture and told him, since he is not doing what he is supposed to do, I am serious about sending him to Boarding school. He cried a lot. I never scolded Ani until this point, I felt really bad. My heart still weeps ..but what is the better way to tell him? how will he understand his priorities? I am always about getting good grades, but never forced them to be on top …as long as they understand the concept, they need to be able to apply what they are learning in theory to their practical life, marks doesn’t matter to me. Having that addiction to video games, is making their minds numb and not work. I need to spend more time with them in engaging in outdoor activities, I hate to see them addicted to these things, but telling that in harsh way in anger is not the right approach. I need to work on my anger management, what do I do? I am usually not that anger person, I let them play when I needed sometime to do other stuff, I need to engage them more, I need to out source some of non important work.
I love you Ani, I am not angry on you, I am trying to explain you to get you out of that “Addiction”, I am sorry if that hurted you. I love you, you are a pure soul..what more can I say. I want you and Rishi to be responsible young man, I am sure you will succeed in your career, no doubt about it, I am trying to build that sense of responsibility and sensibility to what is happening around you. Again, I am sorry Ani babu and I love you.